Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Best Part

Motherhood is a struggle.  I'm sure it will always be a struggle.  For the last few weeks, I have really been trying to find joy in my new life.  Sometimes I get frustrated, angry, and feel lonely as I stay at home with my now 11 month old, trying to figure out how to still feel productive and happy.  It truly has been a struggle.  But I love my little boy.  I couldn't imagine my life without him.  So I decided to make a list about the best parts of my life.

Hearing giggles
Smelling that sweet, baby smell
Watching him play
Watching him discover new things
Seeing him reach all of the "milestones"
Seeing him smile at me
Feeling wanted (even if I need some space sometimes!)
Checking on him at night
Watching him sleep
Seeing his silly faces
Getting WET kisses
Stroking his baby skin
Feeling him rest his head on my shoulder
Being in the splash zone when he's in the tub
Holding fingers
Blowing on his tummy
Hearing him "talk"
Snuggling while reading books

I have a lot of hard days where I feel like giving up.  I have days when Parker will scream and scream and I don't know how to comfort him.  We also have really good days, and I want to try to focus more on those.  I want to remember my list so that I can focus on the joy of being a mom.  I can't believe my little guy is going to be one soon!  How life has changed in the last year.